Take Care of Yourself to be a Better Mom/Wife/Friend

As the fall season comes into view, I'm digging deep to find the motivation I need to be better. I love Fall. I love the crispness in the air, the changing of the leaves, the sense that things are, well, changing. I'm especially loving the fact that I can't really feel these changes just yet (stay a while, summer), but I know they're on the way.

For most of my life, Fall has been the time to set goals and to renew my commitment to be better this year than the year before. For 22+ years, school forced me to set goals, and gave me the motivation to work hard. After graduating from college, it was strange to be suddenly in charge of setting my own goals and deadlines. After having babies and leaving the full-time workforce, it was even stranger...I had no black and white commitments to anyone. (Although keeping a baby and husband alive is no small commitment!)

I quickly found, after the birth of The Boy in 2006, that if I didn't make a commitment to do certain things, they would never get done. The less productive I was, the less happy I was. The less I took care of myself, the more neglected other things became. If I sat around in my pajamas all day, nothing was accomplished. My home became disorganized and cluttered. I had no energy. A few things in my life became an absolute priority so that I could remain happy and sane. With the Fall Season ahead, I'm focusing on me for unselfish (OK...and selfish) reasons. No one wants to be around me if I don't take care of me. Here are a few of my personal-care areas of improvement:

1. Friendships: I've been blessed with some really, really great friends. My husband is my best friend, but as much as he tries to understand me, he'll never be a woman. Having a girlfriend to talk to--even if we can only get in a few sentences before the kids prevent the conversation from going any further--is essential to lifting my sometimes not-so-chipper spirit.
2. Daily Fresh Air: For me, getting out of the house, if only for a few minutes every day is like taking anti-depressant medication. I. NEED. SUN.
3. Exercise: Even if it means waking up at 5am...I won't neglect it! Remember...The benefits I'll gain from working out early are much more important than the bit of sleep I'll lose!
4. Showers and Makeup: Even if I know the 3 and under crowd are the only ones who will see me during the day, I never skip this. You'll rarely see me without makeup on...even if it's just a smidgen of mascara. Why? I feel better about myself. I know that if a friend calls and wants to stop by in, say, 2 minutes, I'm prepared and even excited for the visit. I have more energy. I feel like a non-stinky, proper member of society.
5. Healthy Eating: One of my biggest struggles...I love my sugar...but also one of the key indicators of how I feel. I can tell what kind of foods my kids have eaten by how they're acting. I can also tell what kind of foods I have eaten by my mood. If the foods are healthy, I'm a much better me. (But I'm also a better me with some occasional chocolate...)
6. Marriage: As a mom, it's so easy to put The Man on the back burner. But I notice that when we're not getting alone time, or going on dates, I'm much more discouraged and down about life in general.
7. Sleep: This one will be tricky with my new workout schedule, but if I have any desire to not turn into Monster Mom, I. must. sleep.
8. Meditation: Taking a few minutes to pray, reflect, and listen helps me organize the chaos that is my life as a toddler mom into a more doable job. Even just a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day helps me assess where I am, and where I'm trying to go.

These are a few things I'm going to work on this Fall...how about you?

Fall is in the air!

After a heaven-sent extended summer, Fall is actually really here. Change is in the air! I can feel it. The leaves are changing, the wind is blowing, holiday decorations fill the stores. A new president will run our country NEXT WEEK! It's a change of seasons in more ways than one!

With all of these changes, what a great time to re-evaluate where you are, and where you want to be. Think about your body, and your overall health (including mental, physical, and spiritual). Are you living your best life? Use the month of November as a month of change for you. See where you're going, determine if you need to change course, and make a plan to get where you want to be. Don't wait until January to make New Year's resolutions...change with the seasons NOW!

Throughout the month, we will post tidbits on dealing with change in a healthy way. Let us know if you have any suggestions! The comments are always open for personal shout-outs!

Also, if you have anything you'd like to contribute to fitmepink, email us at fitmepink@gmail.com.

HAPPY NOVEMBER!

Slow Down!

We're (I'm) back! Did you miss us (me)? I won't bore you with the details of where I've been. But the high school reunion? Survived it. Finances? Budgeted. Hair? Cut. And an unexpected one: Cable? Cancelled.

In an effort to simplify our lives, we decided that cable just isn't worth it. We'll see if we change our minds when reality sinks in, and we can no longer watch what we want, when we want.

As a last ditch effort to watch the dozens of never-watched Oprah's on my DVR before pulling the plug, I watched this episode. It was advice for overwhelmed mother's, and really for all of us to slooooooooow down. I bawled my eyes out listening to Brenda Slaby's story of how she changed overnight from supermom, role model, and assistant principal to the "most hated mom in America."

Why? She strayed from her regular routine, and simply forgot that her two-year-old daughter was sleeping in the car. She normally wasn't the one to take her kids to daycare, but her husband had a dentist appointment, so she agreed to take little Cecilia on this particular day. Her daughter was asleep in her carseat, and with a mind focused on the tasks at hand on this first-day-of-school morning, Brenda simply forgot. And after EIGHT HOURS in a hotter-than-heck-sort-of-August-day-in-Texas, lifeless little Cecilia was discovered.

I remember hearing this story, and thinking it impossible that one could seriously forget a sleeping child. But after watching the show, my mind turned to numerous occasions where I was so focused on where I was going, or what was coming, that I could have easily been the one with disastrous consequences.

To name a few mindless acts, I've left the stove burners on for hours. I've left curling irons plugged in. I've left the front door wide open on a hot summer day, with AC on full blast ALL. DAY. LONG. I've left my kids unsupervised in the tub while trying to multi-task. I've locked myself out of my car with my kids inside.

I'm sure the list could go on. This show really was a good reminder for me to SLOOOOW DOWN. And more importantly, to live in the now. To focus on my kids when I'm with them, without thinking about the million things looming on my to-do list. Or the hundreds of blogs I have to read. Or write. Or the laundry that isn't folded. Or the workout that isn't done. You get the idea.

This was part of the motivation to cancel cable in the first place. After a tiring day "at the office," unwinding with hours of TV was perpetuating the tiredness problem. We'll see if my mind becomes a little more focused and a little less clouded.

So here's my advice to you mom's and otherwise BUSY people--slow down! Stop trying to live up to the unrealistic image of the "perfect mom." Do the best you can. Get some sleep! You'll be happier, healthier, and a better mom/wife/student/employee/fill in the blank, as a result! Plan for the future, but live in the present moment.

Have any of you had any close call reminders to slow down? Please share!

I Did It!

Every day, my toddler says three words OVER and OVER with each activity accomplished. I. DID. IT. He recently learned to take off his own pants and diaper...that could get messy! But he's so proud of himself. He looks at me (basking in his nekkid glory), smiles, and says, "I did it!"

Every time we go to the park, he still thrills in the excitement of going down the slide by himself. "I did it!" He buckles the top buckle of his carseat. "I did it!" He opens the fridge. "I did it!" He puts his shoes on (usually the wrong feet). "I did it!"

I love his excitement over the little accomplishments. He's loving his newfound independence when he does something himself. And he wants the world to know...he did it!

How often do we give ourselves credit for our own personal accomplishments? How often do we acknowledge the seemingly small achievements? When does the childhood excitement diminish?
I think we could ALL learn some lessons from the world of toddlerhood. Feel proud of what you do! Give yourself some credit. Let the world know what you've accomplished!

I went on a walk today. I stopped eating for the day at 7 pm. I was on time to _________. I took time to put on makeup and do my hair today. I asked that cute girl out (Michael...). I bought tickets to my High School reunion (I really did!). I made a healthy dinner for my family. I ate breakfast. I completed everything on my to-do list. I completed ONE thing on my to-do list.

Whatever it is. Give yourself some credit! My 2-year old NEVER dwells on what he DOESN'T get done, or what he CAN'T do. We shouldn't either! We accomplish a lot more than we think in any given day. Take note and pat yourself on the back! And try something new...it feels great to say "I did it" after doing something not done before.

Give yourself a shout-out below in the comments. What have you accomplished today? What new thing have you tried? Or what new thing are you going to try? Let's hear the ideas. And let us know how the "I did it" factor has helped you personally with your goals.

LOVE YOUR BODY

How many of you are satisfied with your body? An estimated 80% of women aren't. Hollywood has done a great job of distorting our ideas of how we should look, and what shape we should be. They've created a very distorted image of the "perfect woman". Take a minute to watch this video made by the Dove Self Esteem Fund. I love the Dove mission: to make women feel more beautiful every day by challenging today’s stereotypical view of beauty and inspiring women to take great care of themselves. To learn more about this AWESOME campaign, read this.

Your body, shape, size, and color are what make you unique. Let's stop focusing on what we CAN'T change, and more on what we CAN! We all have the power to take care of what we've been given, and to love who we are...whatever shape and size that may be!

I'm learning to embrace my skin tone (mostly white with an occasional short-lived tan with lots of freckles and moles from years of trying to be darker), my blonde eyelashes (you'll never see me without mascara), my post-pregnancy body (which I'm slowly, but surely trying to get back into it's natural PEAR shape). What kinds of unchangeable things do you embrace about yourself? And what small, attainable goals are you setting for the things you can change?