Thoughts on motherhood and exercise

Soooo...I thought I was back...until I wasn't! Life is happening so fast these days, and adjusting to life with a third child has been both easier and harder than life with two! Easier because the older two can play together, easier because I've done this before, easier because my little jelly bean is such a good baby, but harder because life must go on! I've heard that it only gets busier, but I'm feeling pretty busy these days driving to and from preschool 3 times a week, going on field trips, grocery shopping with 3, feeding 3, getting 3 kids in bed at the end of the day, trying to spend time with my cute hard-working husband, and occasionally finding time for myself.

When my 2nd was born, getting back into the work-out routine was SO MUCH EASIER! Or I was more motivated. Or perhaps I was a little bit scared that if I DIDN'T start working out, it would NEVER happen.

I've had a few awesome work-out weeks since my (almost 3-month old) baby was born, but I have to admit that my work-outs have been sporadic at best! I've always thought that working out was essential for my emotional well-being. I still think it is. BUT I actually feel better emotionally this time around because I haven't been so worried about working out! I remember running on the treadmill after baby #2, while telling my 21-month old toddler to talk to his screaming newborn baby sister so I could finish the last 2 minutes of my run. Why didn't I figure out that those 2 minutes of running to the sound of a newborn screaming were much harder on me than just stopping the treadmill to soothe my baby? I would probably bet money that a mother's blood pressure goes up when she listens to her newborn baby cry. Running at the same time is probably counterproductive, don't you think?

I feel like I've enjoyed the infancy of my 3rd baby so much more, because I haven't worried about ME so much! There really is a time and season for everything. It just hasn't been the season for consistent workouts this time around...and I feel much more sane! I have NOTHING to prove...my stomach is still flabby, I've only lost a single pound in the last month, and I eat lots of chocolate when the kids are in bed! But I've also spent more time enjoying my kids, without stressing about finishing a workout if the baby is screaming! The time that I get to hold my sweet little one on my chest while she sleeps is so short...I'm holding on to it for dear life!

However, when my husband is actually around (he's working long hours these days), I still love my ME time! (And ME-time for me usually means working out!) Soon after my baby was born, my sister encouraged me to sign up for a Zumba instructor certification class. So Me, being the perfect little sister, signed up. I stressed for two months about this ONE day that I would have to leave my new baby. A few hours away are great, but a whole day?!?!? I tried every day for a month to give her a bottle with no success. I pictured my husband spending the entire day with 3 kids in the parking lot so I could run out at every break to nurse my screaming baby. So on our first break, I frantically called my husband. She was asleep. At lunch, I raced out of the room to meet him in the parking lot. I called my husband. She had taken a bottle! She was asleep! He'd done the dishes! He'd even cleaned the carpets! My 2-year old was napping! So I stopped worrying, and got to enjoy an entire stress-free day to MYSELF. It was fabulous! But I'm not ready to leave my baby for 9 hours again anytime soon!

So now my mornings are spent practicing Zumba with my 4- and 2-year olds while my baby naps. They love it, I love it, and for now it works. But the "4th trimester" is almost over, and perhaps the season of consistent away-from-home-early-morning-workouts will begin, but for now I'll take what I can get!

And to finish up this rambling post, here are a few things I've learned:

• Zumba really is an awesome workout! I probably don't burn as many calories as I do in a Spin class, but I have a smile on my face the whole time, and don't look at the clock once! Plus, intermittent training is amazing for the body (more on that later). These days, I'm all about feeling rejuvenated after a workout instead of drained. Zumba works wonders for an emotional mom!
• You can push yourself harder than you think you can! I met up with my visiting-from-out-of-town sister-in-law for an early morning run a few weeks ago. We planned on running about 5 miles around a lake, took a wrong turn on the way back to the car, freaked out when we heard thunder and lightning as it started pouring rain, considered swimming across the lake to get to the car then decided that being in a lake while it's raining probably wasn't the best idea, so we ran as fast as our bodies would take us to get back to the car. We ended up running 8 miles instead of 5, and the most I'd done before that morning (post-baby) was 3! Our bodies are amazing...and an occasional adrenaline rush doesn't hurt!
• There really is a God up in heaven watching over us! My 2-year old almost got hit by a car in a parking lot recently, but another car turned into the parking lot at just the right moment, honked as they saw what was about to happen, and stopped the car from driving those last few feet towards my daughter. Miracle! Before the Zumba training, I honestly prayed for a month that my baby would be okay that day so I could go. She took a bottle for the first time that day. In my little mommy world, that was another miracle! It's so comforting to know that someone really is watching over me and my seemingly insignificant little family!
• Working out is important, but it's not the MOST important thing. I want my kids to know that taking care of our bodies is important. I want them to know that their mama tries really hard to be healthy. But I also want them to know that I love them more than I love my running shoes! I look forward to the day that my little buddies are also my workout partners! Well...they think they already are...but someday, we'll all PUT ON OUR OWN running shoes, and head out the door together as friends!
• As much as I love blogging, it's on the backburner these days. Like I said, (as did someone else...) "to everything there is a season; and a time to every purpose under heaven." When I'm back on some sort of a regular routine (hopefully sooner than later), I'll post more than once every two months! But for now, I hope you don't mind my sporadic ramblings!
• If you want to lose weight, eating the right stuff may just be more important than exercise! There, I said it. And I truly believe it! Lose weight by eating right. Change how your body looks by exercise. Eat right AND exercise for optimal health AND fitness! Duh?!?!?

I'll be back...

Happy Mother's Day with some pregnancy woes

What is it about being pregnant that makes a woman super approachable? I don't know if it's just me, but seriously EVERY stranger I meet feels completely free to comment on my ever-expanding belly. I'm always asked when I'm due, and when I say "not until June 22nd," eyes start bulging. Yes...I realize that my tummy doesn't look like it could possibly get any bigger, but trust me...it will.

Last week while visiting my sister and family, I went to a few of her Zumba classes. (Best Zumba instructor, ever!) Before going, I made the comment that I was going to look a bit ridiculous shaking my booty with my ginormous front side. My dad said, "You just think everyone's watching you, but they're not." I said, "Normally, I'd agree with you. But when you're 8-months pregnant in a Zumba class, everyone really is watching you." I was right. I went to two back-to-back classes with my cute (also pregnant...just not showing yet) sister, and after each one, several people came up to me to offer their thoughts and advice. "Are you trying to go into labor?" "You really should probably slow down a bit." "When are you due?" "I was watching you during class thinking...that girl's baby is going to pop right out!"

Is it really so odd to see a pregnant girl working out? Dancing and hip shaking...maybe so. But it's not just Zumba. While lifting weights last week, a man stopped and asked me all sorts of questions about whether I felt the baby moving while I worked out, whether my exercise was "doctor prescribed," and whether I thought it was "safe." After a Spin class, a funny lady asked when I was due, then exclaimed "Are you sure there's only one in there? Because I just kept thinking 'That girl's about to have her baby!'" Today in church, a teenage girl saw me and a friend (who's scheduled to have a C-Section in two weeks), and yelled, "When are you guys due, because you both look like you're about to pop!" Watch out, everybody, my belly's about to explode!

Yes, my friends. I have been blessed with a short torso, so there's really nowhere for the baby to go but OUT. I'm just praying that all of the you're about to pop comments aren't predictions of anything soon to come. I've never actually gone into labor before (I even drank castor oil with my first), and this pregnancy is the first time that I really don't want to...until my actual due date! Here's why:

1. I'm terrified of having THREE kids.
2. I handle pregnancy a lot better than I handle the newborn-sleep-deprived-engorged-with-milk-out-to-my-elbows stage.
3. My husband is running the Wasatch Back (a 2-day, 180-mile relay race) two days before my due date.
4. My mother-in-law (AKA babysitter) along with several other family members are also running the race. If I go into labor, the kids are coming with me...crap!
5. We don't have a name.
6. Every other reason in the book that having a baby in June just isn't convenient for selfish-me!

So maybe I should stop Zumba-ing, Spinning, and Lifting. But before I have a baby, my workouts always seem to get more intense. Not because I'm trying to make any body changes, but because I know post-baby workouts are much harder to come by. I'm taking advantage!

And as anti-baby as I sound, I really am actually looking forward to holding my sweet little girl next month. As hard as newborns are, there's nothing like having a piece of heaven in your arms. A piece of heaven that grows all too quickly! One of my favorite quotes on motherhood (thanks to my friend, Evelyn) is this:

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. -Elizabeth Stone

My belly is ever-expanding, and my heart is about to split into three. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. Carrying a child is the rudest thing I've ever done to my body. But I thank my Heavenly Father EVERY DAY that he's loaned me these precious children. I can't imagine my life any other way.

So am I offended by those who take it upon themselves to analyze the shape and size of my body? Not at all (or at least not much)! A miracle is occurring inside of me, and as much as I want to have my old body back, I'm trying to enjoy every last minute of this pregnancy. I get to bring a real person into this world. I am blessed, and I can't wait to meet her!

Life AFTER the Freshman 15

It's no secret that I hate missing a workout. I'm the type who plans my day around my workouts, not my workouts around my day. Signing The Boy up for preschool really threw me for a loop. I had to re-arrange my workout schedule to accommodate his new schedule. Preschool would not change her schedule for me. (Rude, no?) In the normal, not-stay-at-home-mom world, people have to actually arrange workouts around other commitments. What a concept!

Working out has just become a normal, routine part of my daily life. It has been for several years, but it wasn't always. Though I've always enjoyed physical activity, before joining the gym after gaining the Missionary-Woman-30 (on top of the Freshwoman 15 I'd gained three years earlier), I was definitely just a sporadic worker-outer. My daily trek to and from campus had to count for something, right?

I have fond memories of college (and of Finnish pastries on my mission). From those years, however, I have actually very few memories of working out. My freshman year, some roommates and I joined a kickboxing class. We laughed at each other as we fumbled our way through it, but if something more fun was happening on kickboxing night, we'd skip the workout in a heartbeat. My first date with my now-husband was actually a 3-mile run (that almost killed me) as he was training for his first marathon. But we all know that the run wasn't just a run. Any exercise I did in college was more for the social benefits than the physical.

If I could go back, would I work out more? No way! I'm glad I had that time in life to socialize, be crazy, eat junk food, and occasionally fit in a workout with friends. I was in a completely different season of life, with very little worry about my physical health. I'm glad I wasn't obsessing over every slice of pizza-brownie-vending machine purchase. I enjoyed life. I was happy. I honestly barely noticed that the pounds were creeping on. I was too busy!

My life is completely different now than it was back then. I had so many outlets as a student that I really didn't need to set aside ME time. Everything in my life was about ME. I had no idea how different life as a mom would be. I only thought about dressing my perfectly behaved children in the cutest clothes, and wearing them on my hip as I would wear any new accessory. I didn't realize that in reality, NOTHING would be about ME anymore. Honestly, my workout is just about the only thing. So even if it means waking up at the crack o' dawn to get it, I'm going to get it. I can't live without it. As my kids get older, and my schedule more and more is merely a reflection of their schedule, I will still find a way to fit exercise in. I have to.

When I joined the gym 6 1/2 years ago, I knew I was making a lifetime commitment. So now that life has changed (as it always does), I'm not going to let the routine slip. Sure, I'm changing from working my life around my workouts. But I knew that one day my kids would start growing up, and I'd have to fit my workouts around my life. And I guess I'm OK with that. As I learned in college, living is really what it's all about. Exercising just helps me live better.

No Sleep + No Exercise = Monster Mom

I'll let you in on a secret that I've mentioned before.
Every so often I'm a mom that none would adore.
Most days I'm patient. I'm loving, secure.
But on occasion I'm NOT! Stay away, or endure.
There's a monster inside that sometimes comes out.
Watch out or she'll yell, she'll hiss, and she'll spout.
She's tired, she's ornery, she's nasty at best.
Please leave her in bed...she obviously needs rest!
If sleep I have gotten, she'll stay hidden away.
But if slept I have not, she's coming to stay.
Even worse, if I haven't had a chance to work out,
the monster creeps in. She's beastly, no doubt.
Don't look at her wrong, and don't spill your water.
And don't leave your toys in her path...she might slaughter!
Stop whining, stop crying, START EATING YOUR FOOD!
Stop fighting at meal time...I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!
Stop clinging, stop begging, start sharing your toys!
Stop screaming, stop yelling...CAN'T HANDLE THE NOISE!
It's time now for bed. Choose a dang book already!
Hurry! Brush your teeth...before I scream nice and steady.
AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAHHHH! Is the day over yet?
I'm on the verge of doing something I just might regret!
Tomorrow's a new day. A day to start fresh.
But the new day starts NOW with a good night of rest.
And a workout tomorrow...endorphins I need.
I'll pray that the monster stays hidden indeed.
No one likes the yelling. Laughter's preferred to the roar.
So, ha ha, look at that. Milk on my freshly cleaned floor.
And ha! Pretty toys! They're all over the place!
I'm trying so hard to laugh and put on a kind face.
Being a mom is hard work. Harder yet with no sleep.
And without exercise, I'm really a creep.
So to keep us all happy, I devote time to me.
It's not selfish, it's essential. Now GO TO SLEEP! LET ME BE!

Take Care of Yourself to be a Better Mom/Wife/Friend

As the fall season comes into view, I'm digging deep to find the motivation I need to be better. I love Fall. I love the crispness in the air, the changing of the leaves, the sense that things are, well, changing. I'm especially loving the fact that I can't really feel these changes just yet (stay a while, summer), but I know they're on the way.

For most of my life, Fall has been the time to set goals and to renew my commitment to be better this year than the year before. For 22+ years, school forced me to set goals, and gave me the motivation to work hard. After graduating from college, it was strange to be suddenly in charge of setting my own goals and deadlines. After having babies and leaving the full-time workforce, it was even stranger...I had no black and white commitments to anyone. (Although keeping a baby and husband alive is no small commitment!)

I quickly found, after the birth of The Boy in 2006, that if I didn't make a commitment to do certain things, they would never get done. The less productive I was, the less happy I was. The less I took care of myself, the more neglected other things became. If I sat around in my pajamas all day, nothing was accomplished. My home became disorganized and cluttered. I had no energy. A few things in my life became an absolute priority so that I could remain happy and sane. With the Fall Season ahead, I'm focusing on me for unselfish (OK...and selfish) reasons. No one wants to be around me if I don't take care of me. Here are a few of my personal-care areas of improvement:

1. Friendships: I've been blessed with some really, really great friends. My husband is my best friend, but as much as he tries to understand me, he'll never be a woman. Having a girlfriend to talk to--even if we can only get in a few sentences before the kids prevent the conversation from going any further--is essential to lifting my sometimes not-so-chipper spirit.
2. Daily Fresh Air: For me, getting out of the house, if only for a few minutes every day is like taking anti-depressant medication. I. NEED. SUN.
3. Exercise: Even if it means waking up at 5am...I won't neglect it! Remember...The benefits I'll gain from working out early are much more important than the bit of sleep I'll lose!
4. Showers and Makeup: Even if I know the 3 and under crowd are the only ones who will see me during the day, I never skip this. You'll rarely see me without makeup on...even if it's just a smidgen of mascara. Why? I feel better about myself. I know that if a friend calls and wants to stop by in, say, 2 minutes, I'm prepared and even excited for the visit. I have more energy. I feel like a non-stinky, proper member of society.
5. Healthy Eating: One of my biggest struggles...I love my sugar...but also one of the key indicators of how I feel. I can tell what kind of foods my kids have eaten by how they're acting. I can also tell what kind of foods I have eaten by my mood. If the foods are healthy, I'm a much better me. (But I'm also a better me with some occasional chocolate...)
6. Marriage: As a mom, it's so easy to put The Man on the back burner. But I notice that when we're not getting alone time, or going on dates, I'm much more discouraged and down about life in general.
7. Sleep: This one will be tricky with my new workout schedule, but if I have any desire to not turn into Monster Mom, I. must. sleep.
8. Meditation: Taking a few minutes to pray, reflect, and listen helps me organize the chaos that is my life as a toddler mom into a more doable job. Even just a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day helps me assess where I am, and where I'm trying to go.

These are a few things I'm going to work on this Fall...how about you?