My 9 Favorite Gym Personalities

I've talked a lot lately about why I love the gym. One reason I haven't mentioned is purely for the entertainment factor. I love people watching! Most people go to the gym to work out in peace, to lose the muffin top, or to burn enough calories to make up for the over-indulgent weekend. They show up, they quietly do their thing, and they leave feeling good about what they've accomplished. Occasionally, however, you'll see someone who catches your attention in a big way. For some, these annoying personalities ruin the gym experience. And yes--maybe they do need to learn proper gym etiquette. However, I love seeing those that "stand out" in the gym crowd:

1. The cell phone addict. I occasionally walk into the gym talking on my phone, but the conversation usually lasts no more than a few minutes once inside. Others, however, will show up and gab for 45 minutes straight while walking on the treadmill. If you really want to get in a good workout, you probably shouldn't be able to carry on a long conversation! But thanks for sharing the juicy details of your life with the rest of us gym-goers.
2. The Sweat-er. OK...I guess I sort of fit into this category, because I. sweat. a. lot. I try to be conscious, however, of the sweat I leave behind. There's nothing worse than going to sit on a machine that displays a perfect wet outline of Mr. Sweat. Ewwwww.
3. The Beauty Queen. Back in my Personal Training days, I had an adorable old lady named Christine who never showed up without lipstick, earrings, and an overwhelming aroma of hairspray and perfume. I'm not sure who she was trying to impress, but I loved her dearly. I felt bad working her hard, however, because I didn't want to mess up her hair! These days, I see girls showing up with long, flowy hair (that they never put in a pony tail), with their full makeup on (that they never work quite hard enough to sweat off), their cleavage spilling out of their tops, and their bum cheeks hanging out the back. Really, girls? Are you trying to make those of us who roll out of bed and head to the gym with bed hair and no makeup look bad? Well it's working. But we're the ones laughing!
4. The Farter. Do I need to explain? These ones are always lurking somewhere in my early morning spin class. Small, crowded, sweaty damp room. I'm not laughing...I'm choking.
5. The Grunter. We see your muscles, guys. Do we really need to hear them, too? Actually, this one makes me laugh more than any other. Keep on grunting. You're helping strengthen my core with laughter.
6. The Social Butterfly. For some, the gym really is just a social outlet. Avoid eye contact at all cost unless you want to spend 20 minutes gabbing instead of working out! They have nice jaw muscles, though.
7. The Front Row Performer. In group fit classes, these girls are the ones who stand closest to the instructor, but practically make up their own routine. The instructor marches, and they jump. The instructor does 10 squats, and they do 20. Over-achieving-attention-seeking-non-conformists. I love these girls. I'm just not brave enough to join them. I'm a conformer, yes I am.
8. The impatient guy. Stop asking me if I'm done with the machine. I'll get off when I'm done! Unless you're secretly hitting on me...I'm married...he liked it so he put a ring on it! (Not that I've ever been hit on at the gym--refer to #3--I'm no beauty-gym-queen.)
9. The Nudist. OK, I don't love this one. I usually avoid the locker room in case the beauty queen decides to take a shower and forgets to put her clothes back on. I don't want to see it, thanks! I got enough of that in Finland (the land of the nekkid saunas!)

So what category do you fit in? Farters, 'fess up! OK, don't. But thanks for making me laugh like an immature 10-year old! Who wants to join me in my people-watching--entertainment and a work out. Who could ask for more?