Tuesday, September 1, 2009

No Sleep + No Exercise = Monster Mom

I'll let you in on a secret that I've mentioned before.
Every so often I'm a mom that none would adore.
Most days I'm patient. I'm loving, secure.
But on occasion I'm NOT! Stay away, or endure.
There's a monster inside that sometimes comes out.
Watch out or she'll yell, she'll hiss, and she'll spout.
She's tired, she's ornery, she's nasty at best.
Please leave her in bed...she obviously needs rest!
If sleep I have gotten, she'll stay hidden away.
But if slept I have not, she's coming to stay.
Even worse, if I haven't had a chance to work out,
the monster creeps in. She's beastly, no doubt.
Don't look at her wrong, and don't spill your water.
And don't leave your toys in her path...she might slaughter!
Stop whining, stop crying, START EATING YOUR FOOD!
Stop fighting at meal time...I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!
Stop clinging, stop begging, start sharing your toys!
Stop screaming, stop yelling...CAN'T HANDLE THE NOISE!
It's time now for bed. Choose a dang book already!
Hurry! Brush your teeth...before I scream nice and steady.
AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAHHHH! Is the day over yet?
I'm on the verge of doing something I just might regret!
Tomorrow's a new day. A day to start fresh.
But the new day starts NOW with a good night of rest.
And a workout tomorrow...endorphins I need.
I'll pray that the monster stays hidden indeed.
No one likes the yelling. Laughter's preferred to the roar.
So, ha ha, look at that. Milk on my freshly cleaned floor.
And ha! Pretty toys! They're all over the place!
I'm trying so hard to laugh and put on a kind face.
Being a mom is hard work. Harder yet with no sleep.
And without exercise, I'm really a creep.
So to keep us all happy, I devote time to me.
It's not selfish, it's essential. Now GO TO SLEEP! LET ME BE!


Kimberly said...

I think that was your best poem yet! Hysterical, true, and totally relatable!! I hate it when my monster comes out...ewww!! Thank goodness for good days and exercise!

Evelyn and Art said...

So that's what's making me so crabby... I need to work out! (And probably not get up to pee so much at night!) The monster's been hanging around here lately... "She got to go!"

Z said...

Maybe a day at the Spa,
so the kids stop yelling for "Ma",
You could take up boxing and give someone a jab to the jaw,
Or turn all the kids over to Pa (go to Tennessee and visit grandma...by yourself).

....Now I get what wife goes through each day.... thank for the fun poem.

Your cuz,


Aly said...

Did you write this for me yesterday??....were you SPYING on me??

After a day like that, I headed to the gym for the 1 hour torture with that Nazi cycling instructor. I came home HAPPY, REFRESHED, ENERGETIC, and REVITALIZED...only to have the 1 year old SCREAM at me for an hour, the older two not listen, and a husband that wasn't home yet! I wanted to KILL someone, so much for my wonderful hour of revitalizing bliss! The gym REALLY does help though...I should have gone back when Chuck got home and let him get the little monsters in bed:).

Anonymous said...

Robyn you are the best! I loved your Poem! one of the benefits to being on the younger end of the family I get to learn from y'all and now i know that when my monster comes out its normal and I should probably just go back to sleep!

Erin said...


Heidi said...

Makes me want to be a mom...hmmmm...

Niki Carpenter said...

That actually sounds like me most days ;) Seriously, lack of sleep is a mom's worst enemy. I don't work out everyday, but if I don't get at least three workouts in a week, it really, really affects my mood. Exercise is the best stress reliever I've found for sure! Thanks for writing this Robyn. It helps to know I am not alone in being a cranky mom sometimes!!!

Michael said...

Good one, hermana. I agree with Kimberly. I think that was one of your better poems. You're a regular Pablo Neruda.

And the monster...I've seen it. It's scary.

Diane said...

Very cute Robyn! What monster!!